More quotes from my collection:
26. We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
27. If cats are so afraid of getting wet, why are they always licking themselves?
28. Some drink at the fountain of knowledge...others just gargle.
29. Laws are like sausages. It is better not to see them being made.
30. My ambition is to live forever - so far, so good!
31. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
32. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
33. Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse. Murphy’s Laws
34. What if this weren’t a hypothetical question?
35. Always imitate the behavior of winners when you lose.
36. I considered atheism but there weren't enough holidays.
37. I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
38. Any man who knows all the answers most likely misunderstood the questions.
39. ”No, ‘Eureka’ is Greek for ‘This bath is too hot.’” Dr. Who
40. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
41. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
42. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.
43. Reality is an illusion created by alcoholic deficiency.
44. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
45. If you cannot get what you like, why not try to like what you get?
46. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?
47. If there is no God, who pops up the next tissue in the Kleenex box?
48. Hard work never killed anybody...but why take chances?
49. I say no to drugs, They just don't listen...
50. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Happy Friday to you all! :)