Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Nina In 4th Grade

After two months of summer vacation kids started to go to school on September 1st. Nina is in 4th grade now. Until now, I was taking her to school every day and picking her up on my way back from work. Well, unless when Dajana picked her up which was rather often for some time as she was not working, or my parents and sometimes her father. But still, going to school in the morning and after work again was somehow my daily routine.

Now, she is going to school alone. And back from school too. She wanted that for quite some time but I just couldn't let her. Not that I don't trust her - but she is not even 9! One hour alone at home in the morning and about half an hour to one hour in the afternoon. We were talking about that, set the rules and all that and she was ready. Not nervous or scared at all. I was.

I was talking about that with other mums who have been through that already and they all said about the same thing: "Don't worry, she will call you at least 5 times before she leaves and then again every 3 minutes when she comes back, so you will know what she is doing". Yeah, right! Not my kid, she has no need to call me and report her every move; because I've already told her everything about 100 times, as she told me later.

Anyway, I woke her up before I left to work the first day. I told her again when she has to start washing and dressing and when she has to leave. There were other girls from our building waiting for her. On my way to work I had my phone on the passanger seat just in case she calls. It was so hard not to call and ask how she was doing! Not that I was having any particular fears in mind, I just felt very uneasy and nervous. In that 20 minutes time, that's how long it takes me to drive to work, I had phone in my hand few times and wanted to call. I didn't... I didn't want to infect her with my nervousness. She didn't call and that was making me feel even more uneasy. Finally, when it was about the time she leaves, I gave up and checked. She was fine, got everything ready and was about to leave.

"What if she didn't go to school?". "What if something happen to her?". "What if....". I gave up again and called Dajana later and she saw Nina going to her classroom. Huh, what a relief!! I was even able to do some work. Until about 2 o'clock, when nervousness started to spread all over me again. I was watching at the clock constantly, Nina was supposed to go home at 3, so she should be at home 3:10. Of course I called at 3 and she was not there yet (I don't let her take her cell phone to school, though it would make me feel better). Minutes were passing by so slowly and my phone didn't want to ring. 3:05 - I checked if it is working, if batteries are full. No call. 3:10 - no call. 3:15, just before leaving work I gave up again. She picked up the phone finally.

Me: Hi honey!
Nina: Hey Mum!
Me: How are you doing? How was school? When did you come home? Was everything fine? Why didn't you call when you came, you know I am all worried since this is your first time and w...
Nina: Sorry Mum, I forgot to call you. I started doing my homework as soon as I got home.
Me: Ohh, I see. That's great. I'm leaving work now and will be home soon, will you be ok?
Nina: Take your time Mum, you don't have to hurry. I am fine!
Me: Well sure, but I will be home soon anyway. How was sch...
Nina: Bye Mum!
Me: Ummm... bye honey! See you soon.

Sometimes it feels our roles are switched... sometimes she acts more grown up than I do. When I came home she was sitting at the table and eating milk with cereals. Huh, she made her own meal? I tried not to act too surprised. She said she would do some housework when she is home alone and have time, like dusting or cleaning bathroom. Huh?! Fine with me, kiddo!

By now, she did that too already. She is still not calling in the morning, but I do to remind her when she has to leave. I am not nervous as much as I was any more, but still am a little. She calls when she comes home. Now I know she is doing fine without me, that she can be home alone and she actually likes it a lot. And I know she is a great girl. Sometimes it just makes me sad that she is growing up so fast and needs me less and less...


bazza27 said...

"needs you less and less", not true, just in different ways. Dr John sent me.

candy said...

I think I would be a nervous wreck. I drop my kids off at the before school daycare and they go there after school too! It is in the gym of the school but I still worry about one of them getting lost. Dr. John sent me to this site and I will check back.

Nea said...

They go through many phases and some very quickly, but they always need you. My daughter is 16 now, and she comes and sits on my bed, and I notice her just sittig there, so I say, What is wrong, and she spends two hours regaling of her day. They need someone to talk to, and someone to listen. It keeps you close,

Cindy said...

My youngest daughter is 14 and when she has to stay home alone from school for the day, I still have her call my cell phone every little while. They grow up so fast and sometimes it's tough to give them a longer leash but you have to do it...our fearless leader, Dr. John sent us to you.

Lori's Minute said...

Sent by Dr John, a guy who randomly selects blogs for his readers to enjoy.

I would be like you, calling all the time. My daughter is 11 and when I leave to go pick up my son from kindergarten, I tell her which door I am going out and which one I will be using when I come back.(Sometimes I go out th e front door and sometimes I use the garage door).

A 9 year doing house work? Send her to my place!

QuillDancer said...

Your Nina sounds precious and precocious, but no matter how adult she seems, she really does still need her momma. She may not express it -- in fact she may express otherwise -- but the securioty that enables her to stay home is built on the foundation of her mother's love.

am amember of the Dr. John blog parade. We have come to soak up a little bit of your sunshine and leave you a little bit of ours.

Dr.John said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog. I enjored reading about your daughter. It brings back memories of when my children were growing up. She sounds like a great kid. I hope you enjoyed the visit of our little group. We visit a new blog every day. You are invited to join us. There are no formd to fill out. No credit card required.Every time you visit a blog of the day and leave the word's Dr. John in the comment you get 5 totally worthless JC POINTS and are entered into our Monday drawing for silly things. By virtue of your comment on my blog and using Dr. John in a comment on your blog you have seven JCPOINTS. So come play along. Some of the blogs we visit are almost as good as yours.

Anonymous said...

Your Nina sounds like a great kid, a bit like her mum I guess. I hope you pay her pocket money for the house work she does for you.
sj, btw dr john didnt send me.

Karen said...

I can imagine your worry - it is perfectly normal.

Nina sounds like a very responsible girl and you are a very lucky Mom :-)