Now, she is going to school alone. And back from school too. She wanted that for quite some time but I just couldn't let her. Not that I don't trust her - but she is not even 9! One hour alone at home in the morning and about half an hour to one hour in the afternoon. We were talking about that, set the rules and all that and she was ready. Not nervous or scared at all. I was.
I was talking about that with other mums who have been through that already and they all said about the same thing: "Don't worry, she will call you at least 5 times before she leaves and then again every 3 minutes when she comes back, so you will know what she is doing". Yeah, right! Not my kid, she has no need to call me and report her every move; because I've already told her everything about 100 times, as she told me later.
Anyway, I woke her up before I left to work the first day. I told her again when she has to start washing and dressing and when she has to leave. There were other girls from our building waiting for her. On my way to work I had my phone on the passanger seat just in case she calls. It was so hard not to call and ask how she was doing! Not that I was having any particular fears in mind, I just felt very uneasy and nervous. In that 20 minutes time, that's how long it takes me to drive to work, I had phone in my hand few times and wanted to call. I didn't... I didn't want to infect her with my nervousness. She didn't call and that was making me feel even more uneasy. Finally, when it was about the time she leaves, I gave up and checked. She was fine, got everything ready and was about to leave.
"What if she didn't go to school?". "What if something happen to her?". "What if....". I gave up again and called Dajana later and she saw Nina going to her classroom. Huh, what a relief!! I was even able to do some work. Until about 2 o'clock, when nervousness started to spread all over me again. I was watching at the clock constantly, Nina was supposed to go home at 3, so she should be at home 3:10. Of course I called at 3 and she was not there yet (I don't let her take her cell phone to school, though it would make me feel better). Minutes were passing by so slowly and my phone didn't want to ring. 3:05 - I checked if it is working, if batteries are full. No call. 3:10 - no call. 3:15, just before leaving work I gave up again. She picked up the phone finally.
Me: Hi honey!
Nina: Hey Mum!
Me: How are you doing? How was school? When did you come home? Was everything fine? Why didn't you call when you came, you know I am all worried since this is your first time and w...
Nina: Sorry Mum, I forgot to call you. I started doing my homework as soon as I got home.
Me: Ohh, I see. That's great. I'm leaving work now and will be home soon, will you be ok?
Nina: Take your time Mum, you don't have to hurry. I am fine!
Me: Well sure, but I will be home soon anyway. How was sch...
Nina: Bye Mum!
Me: Ummm... bye honey! See you soon.
Sometimes it feels our roles are switched... sometimes she acts more grown up than I do. When I came home she was sitting at the table and eating milk with cereals. Huh, she made her own meal? I tried not to act too surprised. She said she would do some housework when she is home alone and have time, like dusting or cleaning bathroom. Huh?! Fine with me, kiddo!
By now, she did that too already. She is still not calling in the morning, but I do to remind her when she has to leave. I am not nervous as much as I was any more, but still am a little. She calls when she comes home. Now I know she is doing fine without me, that she can be home alone and she actually likes it a lot. And I know she is a great girl. Sometimes it just makes me sad that she is growing up so fast and needs me less and less...