76. Why is ”abbreviation” such a long word?
77. Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
78. It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is; it’s always room-temperature.
79. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're
just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
80. What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
81. I thought about being born again, but my mother refused.
82. I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
83. Never forget that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
84. If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
85. If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
86. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
87. A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.
88. We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
89. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
90. Love at first sight is rather pointless without love at second sight, and third,
91. If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?
92. Want a taste of religion? Bite a minister...
93. Beer: Helping white guys dance since 1862.
94. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized
I was talking to myself.
95. The only problem with mornings is that they happen too early in the day.
96. Quote from the Boss: I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it
97. When we talk to God it's called prayer. When God talks back it's called
98. And on the 8th day God said, OK Murphy, you take over.
99. In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, ”Let there be Light.” And
there was still nothing, but you could see it.
100. I’m a polyathiest-there are many gods I don’t believe in.